#1: Move
Now there are a million reasons why people move from place to place, hop from job to job, bar to bar, and so on. Good and bad reasons. The majority consider the not-so-good ones to be forms of movement that hang on to prepositions (see previous post). These are construed to be cowardice or 'quitting' by the general public and also by well-meaning friends who question your motives (cuz they want you to stay... maybe you're the best thing that happened to them, who knows? Or, most probably they are just selfish and don't like the change your move could cause in their lives). In any case, moving from one thing to another may stem from your feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, sheer boredom or hope. Yes, hope.
Whatever reason for the movement, you lose some good stuff when you pack your bags - the choices you make from what books and CDs to take and what to leave behind and so on. (There is a 44 pound limit). It is a well-thought out decision no matter how impulsive or irrational the move is.
Enough said, but the key to making a clean break is to move with one suitcase and a flight, and tell goodbye if you are so inclined.
#2: Stop answering calls. Do not call. Change your number.
In addition to moving somewhere, even if it is just changing apartments across floors, it helps to change your number. The people you leave behind need not know, and don't store their numbers if you are the type who drunk dials at 3am. If you don't possess a phone, even better.
#3: Create fake gmail, FB, etc. accounts. Or delete existing ones.
Now this is one way to still know what people you know are up to without them catching you (depending on their privacy settings, and if you care to know). But then if you are the one breaking ties, why would you even bother? No one's holding a gun to your head to hit Reply. And the Ignore button is there for a reason, right?
#4: Fight
I don't think this needs much thought.
#5: Get caught stealing someone's partner
Messy situation this. But works real effective if your intent is to alienate your women friends for good. Word gets around too. Who cares, in some circles you may be known as a player... for better or worse.
#6: Be an ass
Now this is the easiest of the lot, especially if you are one, you just need to be yourself. Say all the rude (but true) things to people about people, make them look stupid or whatever in public and tada... you will be sitting at that bar for eternity with just your venom for company. Being an ass, or making an ass of yourself indulging in risque behavior is by far the least taxing and surest way to get rid of the crowd.
#7. Be yourself
Now no matter what the shrinks and your parents tell you, honesty is not the best policy. Which means everybody you meet is a dressed up shadow of what they actually are and not the real thing. Barbie is more real than the rest of the world, at least she is meant to be plastic and stays that way. Anyway, for the world and his wife, we are at a masquerade every second of our breathing lives. So, in addition to #6, just being yourself also works a dream to get rid of everyone around you. (And for most of us, #6 = #7).
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