Adverbs, seriously?

I hate adverbs. (fighting the urge to write 'passionately' at the end of that sentence). So I'm looking for a stronger word than 'hate'. Detest maybe. I detest adverbs. There. That feels better. Sometimes I wonder why people write such things  - it puts me in a rage, stuff like, 'She drank her vodka slowly'. Slowly? Can't you just say 'She sipped her vodka'? or something like that. People who use adverbs are either cowards or have a limited vocabulary, or both. 'He closed the door loudly, and walked away angrily'. Oh please, please spare me. Just say 'He slammed the door and stormed out'? Doesn't that make you feel... free, like it's off your chest?

Don't get me wrong, I too have sinned and fallen short of that perfect sentence minus the adverb. And when words fail me (which happens far too often), I resort to adding the 'ly' to convey an emotion I am not sure about. Maybe that's what gets my goat, that we hide behind adverbs to lessen, or to deal with what we feel. Not everyone is capable of handling the sudden onslaught of emotion. Cowards I think I said earlier, those who sin in this aspect. So there we have 'angrily' to convey rage, 'slowly' for procrastination or delay...oh I could go on. But I will refrain.

I don't know why I started this rant, must be something I read this morning. But I guess I should be open-minded enough to make an exception. So this, just this. The one adverb I can tolerate is 'seriously', but again, when it is used as a question and/or to convey sarcasm. Seriously? Seriously.