Shades of Memory - 1

sipping vodka and remembering

the chocolate milkshake 

that magically turned fresh bruises

back to mocha.

no more bruises

my blood is now watered.

Loneliness

Walking down a street that you've walked for the zillionth time, not taking it in, looking at everything but seeing nothing, hearing people talk and laugh but listening to silence, sitting alone at a bench in the middle of the divider, watching sparrows and squirrels, not thinking, thinking...

Listening to the same playlist on the iPod, trying to drown thoughts, but the same song keeps playing over and over again, and the same thoughts rise and fall with the music.

Looking at the phone time and again, trying to remember what the ringtone sounds like, wondering if it does ring,  what would your own voice sound like when you say hello? 

Buying things you don't need just so that the person on the other side says, 'cash back?' and you can get to hear yourself say 'no'.

Playing the guitar till your fingers bleed, or till you get sick of your incompetence, whichever happens first.

The lamest thing is to drop hints to someone you hope will understand, and then realize what a mistake that is... that you really don't have someone.