Thursday, October 21, 2010

What the silence hides...

The greatest hazard of all, losing one’s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed.


-Soren Kierkgaard, The Sickness Unto Death


We lose ourselves... as if it were nothing at all. We stand, we lose, we keep standing, and by the time we notice, it is too late. The space left by the part we just lost becomes a desert, a void, or sometimes gets consumed by fear. Of the three, fear is the worst... an acid that eats away the rest of us slowly. Fear is the worst because it gives us enough time to ask for help, or remain paralyzed in loss. Either way, you lose.

Getting help is not something that builds your self, in fact, it contributes to the loss. For what you could once deal with on your own, is now something that you depend on other people's kindness and/ or the external environment. Which is very unreliable to start with. Paralysis due to fear is a spiral from which you never wake up and is infinite in its downward trail.


More losses of self. Self-esteem, self-reliance. It happens so quietly. Even killing yourself is not an option cuz it requires a self. And it's a waste of time to flog a dead horse twice. 

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