For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me - Job 3:25
Sunday, June 05, 2016
One dark night...
It was like a Dave Matthews song...something that no matter how many times you listen to, you cant really be sure of the lyrics or the exact beat but still obsessively want to hear over and over again, hoping one day you get them right...
It was like standing on the beach with the waves washing over your feet and you sink little by little, almost falling... no...just the feeling of losing your ground... (which you actually have)...yet you remain standing.You just keep waiting for the next wave hoping you won't drown (but you don't care if you do anyway).
I kept hearing 'Crash into Me'. Over and over. It just wouldn't stop.
When you have that perfect moment, it erases all other moments that came before, wipes out memories that you previously held close.
And now I don't know if that is good or bad. Most probably bad. Because now that I'm left with just one good memory, there is an intense fear of losing it and being left bereft forever.
Perhaps it's best, like everything else, to lock this up and throw away the key. God knows I've had enough practice. All this might just be a dream, a mirage. This is just something that happens from staying too long in the empty quarter. Time to cross it before more hallucinations.
It was like standing on the beach with the waves washing over your feet and you sink little by little, almost falling... no...just the feeling of losing your ground... (which you actually have)...yet you remain standing.You just keep waiting for the next wave hoping you won't drown (but you don't care if you do anyway).
I kept hearing 'Crash into Me'. Over and over. It just wouldn't stop.
When you have that perfect moment, it erases all other moments that came before, wipes out memories that you previously held close.
And now I don't know if that is good or bad. Most probably bad. Because now that I'm left with just one good memory, there is an intense fear of losing it and being left bereft forever.
Perhaps it's best, like everything else, to lock this up and throw away the key. God knows I've had enough practice. All this might just be a dream, a mirage. This is just something that happens from staying too long in the empty quarter. Time to cross it before more hallucinations.
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