He barged in. In tight leather pants, wild, careless hair over his beautiful eyes. He had a voice of an angel in distress or a demon escaped from the icy pits of hell. He could fly but preferred leaping from wall to ceiling when the mood struck him. Like a dancer suspended on invisible strings.
Soon, he was joined by an older man smoking a cigar. This man could fly, and to prove it, he had the scars, burnt skin and hands. All he did was drink. And write. What he wrote, the young wild man read aloud, half singing, half speaking in that deep voice. What he wrote was a plea to another friend, who had disappeared on the both of them. This dark night, they came here to look for a sign.
Together they sat, or one sat while the other moved about; both drinking straight shots of J.D. and some vile rum, waiting for an apparition to emerge from the cigarette smoke. To kill time, they drank, wrote, read, sang, and drank some more.
The cold gust of wind and fresh snow blows in as the creaking door opens. Nobody else seems to bother, but a chill runs down the old man's and the wild one's spines. Followed by a wave of disappointment. Busted. It wasn't their friend. But a face just as familiar. Death. They'd have to leave soon. Oh well, might as well get him into the conversation for a while, he anyway is just enough company when you can't find what you were waiting for. And they were running out of time anyway.
They waited. They performed their gigs, all the time waiting for the one friend who left long time ago. Death just sat there, a great listener. He enjoys a good show. As they got drunker and more eloquent, he took out a paper and made a note with an old goose quill he fobbed off some other drunken sod long time ago.
No ink. 'These old-fashioned things', he sighed. He turned and asked if he could borrow my Parker pen.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
the morning after
Christmas day passed by... and became something I don't remember much of except these...
the night, at around 4am... as hazy as I was
the morning after (and it snowed inside cuz some jerk broke the glass and slept in the garbage room)
how do i get to my place? (and how and why the hell did I get out?)
stairway to blizzard (five minutes after shoveling it off. Why did we bother?)
Monday, December 27, 2010
My top bummer songs playlist
in no particular order... old and new favorites that I listen to when I'm depressed, which is a constant these days; or snowed in....
1. Broken - Seether & Amy Lee
2. High Hopes - Pink Floyd
3. Same Mistake - James Blunt
4. Cryin' in the Rain - A-ha
5. Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground
6. Breathe Again - Sara Bareilles
7. Crucify - Tori Amos
8. Foolish Games - Jewel
9. In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins
10. Against All Odds - Phil Collins
11. Broken - Lifehouse
12. Poison - Alice Cooper
13. Tears and Rain - James Blunt
14. My Immortal - Evanescence
15. River - Angus Stone
16. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
17. Unsatisfied - The Replacements
18. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
19. November Rain - Guns 'N' Roses
20. Give Into Me - Michael Jackson
21. Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper with Sarah McLachlan
22. Drifting Further Away - Powderfinger
23. Never Say Never - The Fray
24. The Reason - Hoobastank
25. Running Away - Midnight Hour
26. Almost Here - Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem
27. Too Much Love Will Kill You - Queen
28. Hollow Years - Dream Theater
29. Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House
30. Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
31. Days Gone By - Slaughter
32. Everything Burns - Anastacia with Ben Moody
33. Let Me Out - Ben's Brother
34. Numb - Linkin Park
35. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park
36. Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
37. You Don't Have to Say You Love Me - Dusty Springfield
38. Friend Like You - Joshua Radin
39. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
40. Love the Way You Lie - Eminem and Rihana
41. Something Inside - Jonathan Rhys Meyers
42. Heart of Gold - Neil Young
43. Secret - Heart
44. Sailing - Rod Stewart
45. Live to Tell - Madonna
46. Mad World - Adam Lambert
47. Apologize - One Republic
48. Keep Bleeding - Leona Lewis
49. Here With Me - Dido
50. Open Arms - Journey
51. Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
52. Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
53. Ripple - Grateful Dead
54. Patience - Guns 'N' Roses
55. Hey You - Pink Floyd
56. Mad About You - Sting
57. Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd
58. Now and Forever - Richard Marx
59. Wild World - Cat Stevens
60. What Have I Done to Deserve This - Pet Shop Boys
61. The End of the World - Skeeter Davis
62. Cup of Coffee - Garbage
63. Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues
64. Save the Last Dance For Me - The Drifters
65. Drive - The Cars
66. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
67. I Don't Like to Sleep Alone - Paul Anka
68. Don't Know Much - Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt
69. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
70. Hard to Say I'm Sorry - Chicago
71. Love Bites - Def Leppard
72. Two Steps Behind - Def Leppard
73. If You Don't Know Me By Now - Simply Red
74. Afterglow - INXS
75. Keep On Lovin' You - REO Speedwagon
76. Can't Fight this Feelin' Anymore - REO Speedwagon
77. Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden
78. My Baby Shot Me Down - Nancy Sinatra
79. Father Figure - George Michael
80. Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss
81. How Do I Live - Trisha Yearwood
82. Forever Young - Laura Branigan
83. America - Simon and Garfunkel
84. Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen
85. I Need You - America
86. Heaven - Warrant
87. Staring at the Sun - U2
88. Angel - Aerosmith
89. You're All I Need - White Lion
90. I'll Be There - Escape Club
91. It's Hard Letting You Go - Bon Jovi
92. Thank You - Bon Jovi
93. Trapped - Indus Creed
94. Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
95. Hellhound on My Trail - Robert Johnson
96. Diamonds and Rust - Joan Baez
97. Truckin' - Grateful Dead
98. The Riddle - Five for Fighting
99. The Zephyr Song - RHCP
100. The End - Jim Morrison
101. Uninvited - Alanis Morrisete
102. The Scientist - Coldplay
103. Far Away - Nickelback
104. All We Are - Matt Nathanson
105. Falling Apart - Matt Nathanson
106. Waiting For The End - Linkin Park
107. Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
1. Broken - Seether & Amy Lee
2. High Hopes - Pink Floyd
3. Same Mistake - James Blunt
4. Cryin' in the Rain - A-ha
5. Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground
6. Breathe Again - Sara Bareilles
7. Crucify - Tori Amos
8. Foolish Games - Jewel
9. In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins
10. Against All Odds - Phil Collins
11. Broken - Lifehouse
12. Poison - Alice Cooper
13. Tears and Rain - James Blunt
14. My Immortal - Evanescence
15. River - Angus Stone
16. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
17. Unsatisfied - The Replacements
18. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
19. November Rain - Guns 'N' Roses
20. Give Into Me - Michael Jackson
21. Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper with Sarah McLachlan
22. Drifting Further Away - Powderfinger
23. Never Say Never - The Fray
24. The Reason - Hoobastank
25. Running Away - Midnight Hour
26. Almost Here - Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem
27. Too Much Love Will Kill You - Queen
28. Hollow Years - Dream Theater
29. Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House
30. Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
31. Days Gone By - Slaughter
32. Everything Burns - Anastacia with Ben Moody
33. Let Me Out - Ben's Brother
34. Numb - Linkin Park
35. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park
36. Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
37. You Don't Have to Say You Love Me - Dusty Springfield
38. Friend Like You - Joshua Radin
39. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
40. Love the Way You Lie - Eminem and Rihana
41. Something Inside - Jonathan Rhys Meyers
42. Heart of Gold - Neil Young
43. Secret - Heart
44. Sailing - Rod Stewart
45. Live to Tell - Madonna
46. Mad World - Adam Lambert
47. Apologize - One Republic
48. Keep Bleeding - Leona Lewis
49. Here With Me - Dido
50. Open Arms - Journey
51. Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
52. Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
53. Ripple - Grateful Dead
54. Patience - Guns 'N' Roses
55. Hey You - Pink Floyd
56. Mad About You - Sting
57. Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd
58. Now and Forever - Richard Marx
59. Wild World - Cat Stevens
60. What Have I Done to Deserve This - Pet Shop Boys
61. The End of the World - Skeeter Davis
62. Cup of Coffee - Garbage
63. Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues
64. Save the Last Dance For Me - The Drifters
65. Drive - The Cars
66. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
67. I Don't Like to Sleep Alone - Paul Anka
68. Don't Know Much - Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt
69. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
70. Hard to Say I'm Sorry - Chicago
71. Love Bites - Def Leppard
72. Two Steps Behind - Def Leppard
73. If You Don't Know Me By Now - Simply Red
74. Afterglow - INXS
75. Keep On Lovin' You - REO Speedwagon
76. Can't Fight this Feelin' Anymore - REO Speedwagon
77. Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden
78. My Baby Shot Me Down - Nancy Sinatra
79. Father Figure - George Michael
80. Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss
81. How Do I Live - Trisha Yearwood
82. Forever Young - Laura Branigan
83. America - Simon and Garfunkel
84. Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen
85. I Need You - America
86. Heaven - Warrant
87. Staring at the Sun - U2
88. Angel - Aerosmith
89. You're All I Need - White Lion
90. I'll Be There - Escape Club
91. It's Hard Letting You Go - Bon Jovi
92. Thank You - Bon Jovi
93. Trapped - Indus Creed
94. Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
95. Hellhound on My Trail - Robert Johnson
96. Diamonds and Rust - Joan Baez
97. Truckin' - Grateful Dead
98. The Riddle - Five for Fighting
99. The Zephyr Song - RHCP
100. The End - Jim Morrison
101. Uninvited - Alanis Morrisete
102. The Scientist - Coldplay
103. Far Away - Nickelback
104. All We Are - Matt Nathanson
105. Falling Apart - Matt Nathanson
106. Waiting For The End - Linkin Park
107. Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Sunday, December 26, 2010
song for this year
Drifting Further Away - Powderfinger
Don't go too deep into the flood
Don't stare too long, you'll poison my love
Don't shut me out, don't hold it all in
Don't let my venom get under your skin..
'Cuz every word and every turn and
Every sign points to your hurt
And every hour you're drifting further away.
...Don't banish me then bid me home
Don't tell me where I came undone...
Don't go too deep into the flood
Don't stare too long, you'll poison my love
Don't shut me out, don't hold it all in
Don't let my venom get under your skin..
'Cuz every word and every turn and
Every sign points to your hurt
And every hour you're drifting further away.
...Don't banish me then bid me home
Don't tell me where I came undone...
Thursday, December 23, 2010
In the dark
In my country, I am common,
Not a welcome presence, just
Heavy like a wet blanket on a humid summer
With no electricity, hot.
Things happen. At dark.
It is night and so am I.
Oh but I remember the glowworms over my bed.
Here I am exotic, dark, a hooded stranger
In the constant glare of city lights,
A shadow, sometimes a black hole come too early
For the final starburst. Disappear,
Die into me. Sleep.
I am night and things are wild.
But now the darkness becomes me I can't breathe.
Does it matter what you call me?
This name is purple-black like a bruise
That never heals.
Invisible
To the naked eye. I.
It is dark, this night. Brooding.
And things happen I don't need to hide.
Not a welcome presence, just
Heavy like a wet blanket on a humid summer
With no electricity, hot.
Things happen. At dark.
It is night and so am I.
Oh but I remember the glowworms over my bed.
Here I am exotic, dark, a hooded stranger
In the constant glare of city lights,
A shadow, sometimes a black hole come too early
For the final starburst. Disappear,
Die into me. Sleep.
I am night and things are wild.
But now the darkness becomes me I can't breathe.
Does it matter what you call me?
This name is purple-black like a bruise
That never heals.
Invisible
To the naked eye. I.
It is dark, this night. Brooding.
And things happen I don't need to hide.
How do i live?
Writing is futile when every breath and keystroke is a fight to keep walls from crumbling down.
What a lie. The walls were never there. What you thought were pieces falling were stones thrown at you for sins past and present. You fell. No. To fall down means at some point you were standing. Which you never were. Crouched in the darkened corner hiding from whatever light that could reveal your flaws, you never realized all the debris around was only your fault. They're your pieces. Nobody else's. You broke yourself, chunk by chunk whatever you thought was undesirable, and now you are shocked when you came tumbling down?
Now there's nothing left of you. Just an ashy breath and some broken sentences.
And nobody is going to come and clean up this mess.
Not even the delete key.
What a lie. The walls were never there. What you thought were pieces falling were stones thrown at you for sins past and present. You fell. No. To fall down means at some point you were standing. Which you never were. Crouched in the darkened corner hiding from whatever light that could reveal your flaws, you never realized all the debris around was only your fault. They're your pieces. Nobody else's. You broke yourself, chunk by chunk whatever you thought was undesirable, and now you are shocked when you came tumbling down?
Now there's nothing left of you. Just an ashy breath and some broken sentences.
And nobody is going to come and clean up this mess.
Not even the delete key.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Picture of a perfect day
1. 7a.m. An hour or more around the block in circles (or so it seems from 6th Ave, W3 to somewhere on 8th Av and back)
2. 9a.m. Coffee and breakfast at a diner... where they keep the same seat for you.
3. 10 a.m. Walk, stop, stare at old record shops, churches, guitars, puppies on sale, cream puffs, and drink more coffee.
4. 12 p.m. Listen to Velvet Underground, Lou Reed, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Phil Ochs, and Dylan.
5. 3 p.m. Practice blues rhythms till dark.
6. 5 p.m. Walk to the park after sunset, stare at Christmas decorations on streets and random windows, browse bookstores and watch people go crazy deciding what to gift, while I inhale print.
7. 7 p.m. Conversations with bartenders, more music, food called home delivery.
8. 10 p.m. A book, a song, a coffee, a Jacques Torres dark chocolate.
And doing other things in between all that and after ;-)
... like laughing hysterically at abbot and costello and marx brothers. and crying at judy garland's rendition of the battle hymn of the republic. and watching carl palmer and stanley jordan, wondering if they have two separate brains - one dedicated to music composition and another to motor function...
2. 9a.m. Coffee and breakfast at a diner... where they keep the same seat for you.
3. 10 a.m. Walk, stop, stare at old record shops, churches, guitars, puppies on sale, cream puffs, and drink more coffee.
4. 12 p.m. Listen to Velvet Underground, Lou Reed, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Phil Ochs, and Dylan.
5. 3 p.m. Practice blues rhythms till dark.
6. 5 p.m. Walk to the park after sunset, stare at Christmas decorations on streets and random windows, browse bookstores and watch people go crazy deciding what to gift, while I inhale print.
7. 7 p.m. Conversations with bartenders, more music, food called home delivery.
8. 10 p.m. A book, a song, a coffee, a Jacques Torres dark chocolate.
And doing other things in between all that and after ;-)
... like laughing hysterically at abbot and costello and marx brothers. and crying at judy garland's rendition of the battle hymn of the republic. and watching carl palmer and stanley jordan, wondering if they have two separate brains - one dedicated to music composition and another to motor function...
Saturday, December 11, 2010
SantaCon 2010
The madness is still on... it's been on since this morning. The Santas are on a pub crawl - that the regulars have nowhere to go, so we stay sober and for nothin' better to do, take pictures, videos, and blog.
The scene outside my apartment:
The scene outside my apartment:
Just heard a sloshed Santa calling this the MacDougal 'Saint' Alehouse.
There's a lot happenin'... drunk Santas, stressed cops, paramedics,... you get the idea. Kinda fun to watch. Not so much fun for the bartenders though... Santas are such slobs. Just tripped over broken bottles and god knows what... and more Santas crawling out of the woodwork. Merry Christmas.
Not yet. Just ho ho ho tonight.
How I love the madness on MacDougal Street.
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